"Here's to us that are here, to you that are there, and the rest of us everywhere." - Rudyard Kipling
Toasting to love, friendship, health, wealth, and happiness has been practiced by almost every culture from the beginning of recorded history. Mastering the art of offering a toast can turn an event into a memorable one. Thus, it is extremely important to know the right etiquettes for raising a cheerful toast. Here’re the guidelines on the art of raising a toast.
Who Toasts and When
Always take time to prepare and write down your toast. Make it fun, brief, and simple. When describing an honoree, speak from the heart sharing a fun and amusing story in your own words, for no longer than one minute. Conclude by inviting everyone to raise their glass and join you in a toast to the honouree.
The 'guidelines' for toasting would depend on the occasion and the 'formality' of the environment. Traditionally, it’s the host or hostess who usually offers the first toast. However, these rules can be bent if the environment is informal. At times, when one is with friends on a dinner table, even a guest can propose a toast first. It may be to thank the host for inviting everyone or it could for a special occasion such as an anniversary celebration of the host and hostess or either one's birthday.
The main guideline is to ensure that all glasses are filled before toasting with some liquid, which may be alcoholic or non-alcoholic. Usually, toasting is done with champagne or wine or any alcoholic beverage. But in case anyone is not comfortable with alcohol, it is perfectly fine for them to toast with water or any non-alcoholic juice or drink.
The "host toasts first" rule does still apply at formal occasions e.g. receptions and other large functions
Getting the Crowd's Attention
Never use a piece of flatware and a glass as your way of getting people's attention. Rather alert key people in the room ahead of time to help you get their table and area quiet when the time arrives. Say, in a loud projecting voice, "May I have your attention please." Repeat if needed, continuing to look around the room to get everyone's attention.
Sit or Stand
When it comes to sitting or standing, do what comes naturally. If toasts are made over pre-dinner drinks in the living room, the toaster may want to stand. At the dinner table, the toaster may remain seated if the group is fairly small. A table of a dozen or more usually requires the toaster to stand so that people will be able to hear. Raise your glass to your shoulder level and maintain eye contact with the honorary and everyone else in the room.
Although the host often stands as he delivers his toast, everyone else-including the person or persons being toasted-remains seated. The exception is when the toaster asks everyone assembled to "rise and drink to the happy couple" or "stand and raise your glasses to our esteemed leader." The guests respond by taking a sip of their drinks, not by draining the glass; the idea is to save enough of the beverage for any toasts that follow. On ceremonial occasions, a toastmaster or the chairman of the committee often takes charge, sandwiching the necessary toasts between the end of the meal and before any speeches. Toasters are usually expected to stand on such formal occasions.
When to Toast
In the olden days, toasting was essentially a man's job and only the men drank the toast while the women nodded and smiled. But now it’s completely appropriate and acceptable for anyone to make or respond to a toast, regardless of any gender.
If a toast is to be offered at a meal, the first usually comes at the very beginning. Traditionally, the first toast is offered by the host as a welcome to guests. Toasts offered by others start during the dessert course.
Toasting isn't confined to a meal or special event. Spontaneous toasts are in order whenever they seem appropriate, as when someone raises his glass and offers good wishes or congratulations to his companions.
Replying to a Toast
TOAST-RECEIVER: As the honoree...
Always remain seated through the entire toast being proposed to you.
Never raise your glass along with the others when you are being toasted and honored. Otherwise, it appears you are toasting yourself.
Remember you should return a toast of thanks immediately following the one you has been given. Whether the toast-giver stood during his/her remarks or remained seated, you must do the same. Do thank the host for hosting the event in your honor; do say a few words about the event for no more than one minute; then conclude by inviting one and all to join you in another round of toasting, by saying, "and thank you one and all for being here."
The same procedure is followed by a group of people who have just been toasted.
Always stand up and respond to the toast, even if it is only to thank the host for the generous gesture. Never, ever, should anyone toast the guest of honor before the host. In fact, no toasts should be made until after the host has had the opportunity. If half way through the dessert it becomes apparent that the host has no intention of offering any toasts, a guest may quietly request the host's indulgence to offer a toast.
Bonus Tip: The clinking of glasses is a popular and fun activity. Nevertheless, when toasting an honoree it is not performed. Simply raise your glass to shoulder height in front of you, make good eye contact with the honoree and others, and gently gesture toward the honoree.
Spur of the Moment Toasts
Joining in a group toast is blessedly easy, with glasses raised and shouts of "Cheers!" "To your health!" or "To Karan" ringing out. Similarly, a spontaneous toast is relatively effortless in that it can be both brief and generic.
Should you draw a blank when you're suddenly asked to offer a toast, just remind yourself that a few sincere and complimentary words are all you need: "To Karan, a terrific guy and a friend to us all!" It's easier still when you can tie the toast to the occasion (what a good toaster should do in any event), whether you're at a dinner party or barbecue, an office party or a gathering of your high school classmates.